I was sharking for a spot at a meter on Cahuenga Blvd today between Hollywood and Sunset (which everyone knows is impossible)…I saw one, whipped a U-turn, and parked. SUCCESS!
As I was parking, a car pulled up in front of me, put on their 4-way flashers, and the driver – a middle-aged woman with pasty white skin, long greying brown hair, and pink slip on sneakers- got out and walked over to my window in a frantic, twitchy hustle.
“This is my spot”, she said to me as I rolled my window down, foolishly thinking she wanted directions or something.
“But…I’m parked here.” I said back, confused and instantly annoyed.
“I was turning around to park here, I saw it first, and you parked here while I was doing that. Please, it’s the holiday season and I don’t have much time and I need to go into that store to get christmas gifts.”
Interesting. I too was short on time and going into that same store to get gifts. And my car was the one already in the spot.
“Yeah. OK…That’s exactly what I’m doing…why do I have to move MY car? I’m already parked here. Are you actually asking me to move my car and look for another spot because you want to park here?”
Most other people would have heard the incredulous tone in my voice and how insanely self-centered it was to request that a total stranger do something for their benefit, and backed down. Hell, most people wouldn’t have even gotten out of their car and knocked on my window to make such a request. But this nut-job had the balls to reply “Yes. Yes that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do.”
She then used the phrase “It’s a Karmic matter” and gave me those ‘namaste’ I-beg-of-you hands, and I had no choice. I gave her an angry I’m-from-NJ-and-could-kill-you look, told her she was “incredibly unreasonable”, and lost the battle.
Did I mention that she was driving the same exact car as me but in black? My friend later pointed out that this was obviously the work of my evil twin cabrio driver who drove around doing dark deeds while I drove my angelic white version, which made me feel better about this encounter.
I moved my car a block away where there was a whole row of empty expired meters (WHICH SHE COULD HAVE DONE JUST AS EASILY PS) and walked the block into Urban Outfitters. You will never believe who was in there…Ms. Karma herself! Not only were we driving the same car and trying to park in the same spot, we were now shopping in the same store. We were shopping the same RACKS of the same store and looking for the same tops in different shades. We even went to try on our clothes at the same dressing room at the same time, where she OH SO GRACIOUSLY said hello like we were old friends and then offered to let me go ahead of her (what a fucking Miss Manners she turned out to be!).
She was the ugly frumpy fruit fly buzzing around my potential party outfits, and I the dirty-eyed thorn in her side while she tried to enjoy her christmas shopping.
Truth is, if you use any argument against me including Karma, Law of Attraction, Everything Happens for a Reason or Everyone gets Theirs…I fold. I’m not overly superstitious or religious, but I do believe in powers greater than us and that each of our actions affect the next. I believe that life is hard enough as it is, and anything I can do to avoid wrath from these powers is the right move. The argument that “it’s a karmic matter” might not have gotten someone else to move their car from the prime store-front meter that I had for a brief two minutes, but it hit my guilt chord enough to get me to drive on.
Best part of this? While walking back to my car hours later and re-telling this story to friends, I looked down while waiting at a crosswalk and found a $10 bill at my feet. No joke! I guess it IS a Karmic matter, biatch!
